What could've happened
by Kiyayee
Summary: What would've happened if Jacob had gave Bella the phone before Edward hung up in New Moon.
1. Bella

_I always wanted to know what could've happened if Bella answered the phone, Its all Jacob's fault Edward went to the Volturi!_

**Bella's POV**

I was looking into Jacob's eyes as he moved in closer to me, I didn't know if I wanted to kiss him or not. If I didn't he would be hurt, if I did....

The phone rang and Jacob answered it, still looking at me.

"Hello, Swan Residence." He them straightened up his position and looked away from me. "It's Carlisle." He said to me. "He wants Charlie."

_"Carlisle?_ Why was _he _calling_?"_ Why would Carlisle call here he was told by Edward to not come back. "Give me the phone Jacob." I held out my hand waiting. He stilll didn't look at me. "Please Jacob." I asked jumping up to get the phone.

"He's not here."

"Jaocb! Give me the phone!"

He sighed, but gave me the phone. "Hello?" I said breathlessly in the phone. "Carlisle?" There was a breif pause before he answered.

"Bella? Is that you?" He asked relieved. I was over whelmed by his voice which slowly tore at my chest as he spoke each word. I should've know hearing him would make me feel worse, I had to get off this phone before I experiened any more pain.

"Yes, why? Charlie isn't here." I squeaked, My voice sounding almost strangled. Jacob probaly saw the pain in my eyes, but said nothing. He was still not looking at me.

"Bella! You're _alive_?" He sounded astonished.

There was something off in Carlisle's voice, he sounded different.... Why would Carlisle want to speak to Charlie? Why would he ask if I was alive? I remembered Alice telling me she saw a vision of me jumping off that damn cliff, but she didn't tell Carlisle, only Rosalie--maybe she said something--but she said she wouldn't. Did she tell Edward? I bet he would be angry with me that is if he still loved me--which he did not.

I grabbed myself just to keep from falling apart in front of Jacob, but I slight sob broke through my trembling lips. Jacob snapped his head up to look at me, I just looked away from his concerned look. I'd forgotten someone was on the other line.

"Bella?" He was alarmed, his facade completely gone, it was Edward. His sweet just voice saying my name was enough to heal my chest. I calmed down enough to breathe and get the pained look off my face. I couldn't speak because I was in shock.

"Bella? Are you there?" He sounded like he was begging me to answer him. "Bella, please answer me!" I did not know how long he was waiting, but I decided to anwser before he hung up.

"_Ed--_Carlisle? Yes I'm here, but--"

"Bella, I thought you were... dead. Rosalie told me about Alice's vision." He answered back to imitaiting Carlisle's voice. So it _was_ Rosalie.

_Rosalie_ told you? _Edward_? Is that you?" I asked.

There was a breif pause before he answered, I waited impaitenetly.

"Bella I missed you and don't _ever_ forget that I still love you." He hung up.

I broke down and started crying, Oblivious that Jacob was still here. I slumped over wanting to fall face first on the tiled floor, but of course werewolf reflexes caught me. He pulled me into a hug as I cried on his shirt leaving stains where I cried.

"Bella Bells!" Jacob was alarmed "What's wrong? Did that _leach_ do something? What Happened?" I just cried into his shirt until I had no tears left.


	2. Edward

_I added Edward's point of view because he was just important to me. _

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't believe I was actually doing this, but I had to make sure. Why did _Rosalie_ tell me this? She did not like Bella and Alice _should've_ said something to me.

I needed to speak to Charlie to make sure Bella was...dead. How could my Bella be.... I couldn't think of the word anymore. I still couldn't believe she would jump off a cliff! Did I hurt her so bad? She couldn't be in that much pain, Humans were suppose to forget. Did she still have feelings for me after I left her so long ago.

I remembered her face when I told her that we would never come back. So much pain. I had to speak through my teeth and compose my face because I couldn't take her pain. I fought with myself to not break down on my knees begging her not to believe the lies I had just told her. I only did this to save her, but she jumped off a cliff! I think she probaly would've been safer with us.

I dialed that old number. I thought for a few seconds whether I should tell Charlie it's me Edward or Imitate a voice. I knew Charlie would yell at me or dislike me if I asked if Bella was alive, but I wanted him to know it's me. If I say it's Carlisle I wouldn't get yelled at much, but why would he believe Carlisle would want to know about Bella?

Oh Well, I decided to imitate Carlisle's voice. Only 2 rings have passed, 3, 4 how could I be so impaitent to know about my Bella's Death?

Finally, "Hello Swan Residence." A male voice I did not recognize at first answered. Maybe not _my_ Bella.

"Hello It's Carlisle, can I speak to Charlie?"

"_It's Carlisle, he wants Charlie_" he said to someone else.

There was a pause before he answered, uncomfortably and a little acid in his tone, "He's not here."

"Jaocb! Give me the phone!" _Bella? _Her voice was a little off, sadness in it--why would she be sad? I hurt her she didn't forget. If this _Jacob_ hurt her in any way he wouldn't be alive, and also who is this Jacob and why was he at Charlie's house? The Jacob that _danced_ with Bella at _prom_? Did she like him? If she moved on--like I told her ( I reminded myself )--I shouldn't be jelous.

_Jacob_ sighed and I heard the phone being shuffled around in ther hands. "Hello?" Bella said breathlessly in the phone. "Carlisle?"

Bella's sweet tone. I couldn't get my mind right to respond, I missed her so much! I couldn't believe I would ever hear her voice again...She reminded me of so many old memories I tried to forget--which I couldn't, but tried anyway--where she was in my arms and all the kisses. She wasn't just a memory now, she was real.

But what about Jacob? Why was he there with her? This cleared my mind enough to answer quickly enough a normal human wouldn't notice. "Bella? Is that you?" I asked relieved.

"Yes, why? Charlie isn't here." Her voice sounded almost strangled in pain, tourchered. I couldn't find enough words to decribe it.

"Bella! You're _alive_?" I didn't know what else to say, if I said I loved her...that would be strange because I'm Imitating _Carlisle's_ voice. Damn, I forgot to imitate Carlisle's voice? She took awhile to respond. Did she remember me _that_ well?

A sob broke through her lips. She remebered, I didn't know I was inflicting this much pain to her. I'm a terrible monster!

"Bella?" I asked alarmed, my facade completely gone, she breathed, but said nothing. "Bella? Are you there?" I begged. "Bella, please answer me!" Didn't she know that I didn't like her keeping stuff from me? I guess she forgot or didn't care or maybe she was just mad at me, I desrved that.

"_Ed--_Carlisle? Yes I'm here, but--" She knew it was me.

"Bella, I thought you were... dead. Rosalie told me about Alice's vision." I imitaitated Carlisle's voice. I hoped she didn't still think I was me, but I had to try. Although I knew she alredy knew it was me.

"_Rosalie_ told you? _Edward_? Is that you?" She asked.

She knew everything she is a smart human or a very well-educated human. We told her everything so she needs to know, so I shouldn't be suprised.

"Bella I missed you and don't _ever_ forget that I still love you." I couldn't think of anything to say that would make her want me back. I just hoped that she wasn't with this _Jacob._ I just hung up. I got to get back to make sure nothing more happens. I was jealous?

I didn't care, I love her and she better not forget that. I ran to the airport.


	3. Pain

_For the first chapter, I wanted to have the exact wording from the book, but I had to try and remember because my friend has my book. Well thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy..._

_**and also **I changed the first 2 chapters a little, (for those who read before I posted this chapter) Chapter 2 is the one I changed the most, you don't _have _to read the 1st over. I would try to update much faster, but I have annoying parents. _

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I couldn't believe I heard right, did I? Edward still loves me? I just kept sobbing. Why did he leave in the first place? Why did all this have to happen, I'm just a human how could anyone think I could bear all this pain everyone's inflicting on me?

I was so lost in my own thoughts I forgot I was soaking Jacob's shirt. Why was he still here? Oh right, he cared--somewhat--about me.

"Bella! What's wrong?" Jacob soothed me by wrapping his arms around me in a hug. He was the only thing in the way of me falling to the ground.

"Jake--" I sobbed when I was able to speak. "you shouldn't see me like this, I'm sorry." I couldn't believe I was able to even talk, but I managed.

"You should go--to the...funeral--"

"Don't think I'm going anywhere with out you in this condition." He answered.

"Please Jake." I couldn't see his face, but I thought I was being a little rude telling him to leave. I just wanted to be alone, but I shouldn't be so mean. "I'm sorry I just don't want to inflict hurt towards you. Alice is here." That probably wasn't the right thing to say, but how else could I be left alone. Jacob growled quietly. I sighed and looked up at him. He seemed to be a little sad,

I wanted to comfort him, but I couldn't move because he was holding me very tightly. I just rubbed his back in tiny circles. "You're going to be late. Don't worry about me, I'm fine." I looked into his Deep black eyes. He was my best friend and I loved him, what if Edward never came back? Would I just let him ruin my future because of the past? I shouldn't let some one person control my life. But he _was_ my life. He even just said he _loved_ me still. Yeah Right maybe he was just comforting me to be polite. No that can't be it. Should I just go on? I don't know what to do, but as he looked at me with those dark eyes, I couldn't look away. He moved in closer as if to kiss me, could I love him back or would I just hurt him again? I decided not to hurt him anymore. I just wanted to please him for now. But what ifn he gets the wrong impression?

Jacob sniffed and looked away from. Great way to ruin the moment. Did I smell bad now? At least I didn't have to kiss him today.

Alice came in a few seconds later with a confused and somewhat angry look on herface. Jacob backed away from me and headed for the door.

"I have to go." Jacob said.

"You should this doesn't concern you. What happened to you? Did he hurt you?" Alice glared at Jacob as she walked up to me and gave me a hug. I shivered, her hands were cold and hard. After being held by Jacob, it became an extreme climate change.

"No, no, no." I quickly wiped away the tears I had left, I probably looked a mess.

"Are you leaving, _dog_?" Alice continually glared at Jake.

"I'll be okay Jake." I waved him off. "Don't worry about me." He shook his head.

Sometimes he seemed just as stubborn as me.

"Please Jake. I'll call you later. I just need to talk with Alice."

He sighed and walked out the door without a backwards glace. Alice was quick to speak. "What happened while I was gone?"

"Nothing really." except the love of my life had just called me. "Jake didn't do anything. Did you have a vision"

"I could care less about the mutt, but did something other than that happen?" She ignored my last question.

I sighed. "Uh...Ed--Edward called" I choked. I didn't know why I had this reaction, after all I had wanted to hear his voice before.

"Oh. What did you say?" she asked urgently.

"Nothing really, he imitated Carlisle's voice and he wanted to speak to Charlie. He asked if I was alive, I said yes. I figured out it was Edward and then he said 'Bella I missed you and don't ever forget that I still love you' and he hung up." I remembered those words with perfect clarity.

"Well..." Alice sighed. "Edward will be here in 2 days."

What? "Are--are y-y-you sure?! He wouldn't--shouldn't! Why?" I over reacted a little, but what else would I say? Hug Alice and say 'I'm so happy! No, he left me like I was trash and I was so hurt I gave pain to others all around me.

"I saw your reaction in a vision, that's why I didn't tell you earlier, I needed you calm. Now please be calm for a minute." She ordered.

"Fine. I'll try."

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	4. The Future

_Okay so I decided, Bella's POV would be best since everyone can probaly guess Edward's POV...thanks for the reviews and I"ll write more soon!_

**Bella's POV**

"Please Bella! I can't concentrate with you breathing down my neck." I was behind the couch questioning and asking over and over 'What's happening?'

"Oh Sorry I didn't think I was bothering you." I said hesitantly. I didn't mean to be in her way, but I wanted to know why Edward was coming back. Of course she can't see the reason why he came back, but I'm just a little confused and afraid of what will happen.

Over the last few hours I've been questioning Alice and begging her to tell me what Edward doing. I guess I was... a little... desperate. All he was doing was heading towards Forks. By Plane, car, running as quickly as possible.

How could I love this man who left me when he barely gave an explaination? If I decide to stay with him would I just forgive him and love him? Would I love him the same? Should I go back to Edward _that_ easily? I couldn't take my mind away from these dreadful questions. I needed a distraction.

I decided to call Jacob. It's been almost a day since he was here. We slept down stairs in the living room, but Alice _fake_-slept because of Charlie. I couldn't sleep though, because my head was spinnng.

I dialed that number.

"Why are you calling _him_, he blurs my vision of the future." Alice growled.

She seemed frustrated, I understood, but I needed to talk to Jake, to make sure he was okay since I made him leave with such urgency and carlessness. I hoped I hadn't hurt him.

"Alice I have to." I said painfully

"Okay, but don't come crying to me when I can't see." she was in a bad mood.

It rang a few times and I was about to give up until Billy answered.

"Hello?" The husky voice was more familar than I thought.

"Hi Billy, it's me Bella. Can I talk to Jacob?" I asked politely.

"Um, I don't know if he's here...**.** Jake?" He called for him. "It's Bella!" He took a little while to answer, but I guessed Jake didn't want to talk to me right now. I didn't know why, but I think it had something to do with Edward calling. Did he think I still had feelings for him? Did he even know he had called?

I remembered me saying 'Rosalie told you? _Edward_?' and after that I started crying. I knew he knew now.

"Bella?" I couldn't believe that he answered.

"Jake? Is that you." I was confused.

"Yeah...who else? What did you want?" Frustration in his voice, not good.

"Umm, I just wanted to make sure you were okay because I rushed you off without a bye." I sounded really stupid. I probaly shouldn't even have called. "I thought I hur--"

"Hurt me Bella? I'm fine don't worry about me."

"Oh. I thought y--" He interrupted me. Again.

"Bells, Sam wants me I'll call you back."

"Oh--Kay well see you lat--." Dial tone.

He _was_ mad at me or at least hurt by me. I feel like I hurt everything I touch, I can't keep hold of one good thing for long enough. It always gets away. I'm just a weak little human after all. Edward Left, it felt like Jacob is leaving me, too, who else? The rest of the Cullen family. I almost cried.

Alice was watching me. She walked up to me and took the phone from my ear and hung it up. She must have heard the dial tone. She walked me back to the couch and soothed me. "What's wrong?" Alice asked.

"Nothing, it's just Jake's mad at me and I don't know what to do."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out and everything will be fine."

"No it won't, Edward's coming back and that will mess up everything I had with Jacob. He never liked Edward, he even said he wrong for leaving--"

"Edward _was_ wrong for leaving you. He was very..._foolish_." I just leaned my head against her hard shoulder and cried.

"What will happen when he gets here? Will he beg for forgiveness? Or...?" I hesitated

"He isn't sure right now, I can't see your reaction, only glimpses because you haven't thought about it much. He's most likely going to go with the begging." So he's going to beg me. What if I said no, what would he do, just leave? I sighed, the future isn't that far away anymore. He'll be here tomorrow. But, what time tomorrow?

"When's going to be here, Alice?"

"Bella, this isn't the best time to tell you this, but I have to leave before Edward comes." I stared at her with pure horror in my eyes. I probaly looked like I was pained. What was wrong with me? I can't even speak with my best friend, she leaves too. "Bella, Bella, Bella. He'll rip my head off if he knew I were here. I'm sorry. I'll be back soon."

I sniffed. I just had to let her go. She'll be back at least.

"I'm sorry Bella." she got up. "I'll be back soon!" she repeated. "And remember act like you didn't know he would be here" she sighed. "Since you're not a good actor, I'm not telling you what time he's going to be here. It will surprise you more." She laughed. "Bye Bella!" She picked up all her things. "Tell Charlie I had to leave because my family needed me!" She headed for the back door.

"Bye Alice." I mumbled.

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_I have a lot of questions in this chapter and I hope I didn't leave any errors. Review...let me know what you think. What's Jacob going to do about Edward? I'm scared of his reaction, but idk, I haven't written it yet. _

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	5. Surprise Surprise

_I think Edward's POV would be good because he can read everyone's mind--except Bella, but you get the point. :)_

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With Alice gone I had nothing to do, but worry. Edward's going to be back...that had me nervous. I was so stressed out, I couldn't move. I was frozen where I sat... It's been over a whole day and I barely moved the slightest of an inch. I only moved to lay my head down, but I never really fell asleep. My breathing was ragid and My heart was accelerated.

I wanted to concentrate on other things, but my mind always found its way back to Edward and Alice, the _Cullens_.... I wanted to cry because of Edward, but I felt no tears come. I don't know why I should cry for him. He did no good to me when he left. My heart was scarred for life. But he did say He _loved_ me over the _phone_. Should that count? I still didn't know why Edward would want me back. He said he didn't want me. Would he make up his damn mind! How could he leave me, was I just a toy to him? Something you like for a second and just discard the older it gets, when it's no longer _IN_. I felt sick in the stomach.

But, way down deep. _Deep_ in the Metaphorical Abyss of my mind, I believed and hoped he still loved and cared for me. That little thought in my mind was so small I barely even noticed it. I had other things to worry about.

Charlie! It was almost time for him to get home. Oh crap, I better make him some dinner. I went to the kitchen and grabbed some food so I could make some spagetti and salad. It was quick and easy enough.

I had just barely boiled the water when I heard a knocking on the door. Charlie? It's too early for him to be here. He's _never_ this early. I stiffened. What if it's _Edward_? Alice_ did_ say he'd be here today, but she never told me when. I hadn't had enough time to decide wheather or not I should forgive him or not. Well I guess I'll have to face my fears anyway, better to get it over with.

I jumped. Somebody was banging the door extra loud. "I'm Coming!" probably not the best thing to say, but the knocking was stressing me out even more. I was use to the quiet house and that loud banging was terrifying to me. I walked with more caution than ever, keeping my mind blank, it calmed me.

I unlocked the door and turned the knob slowly... I was afraid of what I might see, I silently prayed that it wasn't Edward. Not here, not now. I never even heard a car pull up, maybe I was lost in my thoughts because there was Billy in his wheel chair with Jacob pushing him into the house. This was almost as bad as Edward coming.

Jacob looked...angry and never looked me in the eye, he acted as if his attention was else where.

I smiled and waved "Hi, what are you two doing here?"

"Uh, we stopped by because Charlie invited us over."

"He didn't mention anything." I thought back over the last few days, but I hadn't talked to Charlie in a while. "Well Okay..."

"Thanks Bells, where's Charlie?" Billy asked.

"He's still at work." I said heistantly. "Why were you so early?" Jacob looked down quickly at Billy. Billy didn't even glance at Jacob.

"Today I let Jake drive and I didn't think the boy had it in him to drive so fast."

"Oh...Why was he going so fast?" I mumbled "He doesn't seem like he wants to be here." I said so quietly I could barely even hear it. Jacob looked at me and then acted as if there was something else more important to look at. That was his first time looking at me since he got here.

Shit! He heard me! Damn Werewolf senses. He knows how I feel now.

"I don't know why he was going so fast, but he probably just wanted to see you again" he chuckled and I smirked back, I wasn't in the mood for laughing.

"I'm going to go finish cooking." I rushed to the kitchen.

"We'll just watch some tv then"

I went to the kitchen and started to put the salad together and putting the noodles in the pot. When I finished with everything, I didn't know what to do. Today Edward's suppose to be coming--as told by Alice-- and I don't know what to do. Jake's here and I don't want them in the same room since Jake hates the Cullens and all vampires.

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_Idk if I like this chapter...its kind of slow, but I'm getting to the part where Edward comes. Idk if I should let Edward come after Jacob's gone or while he's there...?_


	6. Forgiveness

_So...How's everyone? I've been getting a lot of reviews. I like your ideas, but I decided on something else, but I kind of combined everyone's ideas together lol. Enjoy! Hope you like it!_

I was in my room just laying across my bed face up staring at the ceiling, everyone ate the spagetti. I wasn't hungry. I ususally only make food for Charlie, but with Jake and Billy here I knew I had to make more, much more. Jake ate seconds, but I bet he would've eaten thirds if he wasn't so upset.

Jacob, Billy, and Charlie were still here and I was getting restless. Edward hadn't come yet, but I'm so worried that he'll come when Jakes here. Did Jacob know Edward was coming, was that why he was so...strange when he came. I probably should talk to him, but Charlie and Billy are here. Maybe I'll ask him if we can talk outside for a minute and ask him what's the matter. I have to get him to talk to me.

I got up quickly and went down the stairs. Everyone was watching some football game. They seemed so occupied by the game...it looked like they were--_zombies_. How weird, but I didn't care, I interupted them anyway. This was important, but I did it in a conspicous way though.

I came up behind Jacob--who acted as if he didn't notice me--and I tapped his shoulder. "Jacob can we talk for a minute, please?" I said in the nicest pleading way I could.

"Uh--sure, sure" he got up and followed me out the door. I was a little surprised he came so easily.

"Don't stay out there too long." Billy chuckled and Charlie elbowed him in the ribs.

I waited until the door was closed. The night was dark and dreary I could barely see a thing outside, but I prayed Edward wasn't out there.

"So...Jake, what's wrong? I told you I didn't mean to hurt you, but you just hung up on me."

He sighed. "Bella I loved you, but then you started crying for that...bloodsucker and that confused me and I thought he had hurt you, but I heard you talking after I left and--" he obviously didn't want to tell me this.

"Jacob just--just tell me, please I don't like to see you hurt or in any pain."

"Well I heard you saying something about Edward to Alice like... 'he imitated Carlisle's voice and he wanted to speak to Charlie. He asked if I was alive I said yes. I figured out it was Edward and then he said'" Jake sighed and then finished quoting me. "'Bella I missed you and don't ever forget that I--I still love you'' after you said that I ran away as quickly as I could." he sighed.

I couldn't respond. I stared blankly at Jacob. I was grateful he didn't hear the part about Edward coming in 2 days (today.)

"I'm sorry Bells I'm just--I shouldn't be telling you this. It's too private." he looked away. "I should go."

I didn't know what to say, but if I didn't he would leave. "I'm _so _sorry Jake." I walked up to hug him and he wrapped his arms around me. "I--I love you, but I'm just a mess and I don't want you to be hurting because of me." I didn't know how else to comfort him, but that seemed all I could say.

We stood there for a long while. I was grateful he was warm becauseif I stood here by myself I'd freeze since there was a cold winter wind. I loved him, but only as a friend. I couldn't love him the way I loved _someone _once before. He was only meant to be my friend for now...unless I don't forgive Edward. But what if Edward doesn't want to be friends? If didn't want to be he probably wouldn't have called or come here.

I was caught by surprise when Jake pulled away and unlocked my arms. "Jake! Bella! You two are still out here?" Charlie said

"Yeah, I just needed to speak with Bella." Jake reponded at ease.

"_Sure_ you did, now help your dad get his chair to the car." Charlie folded his arms across his chest.

"Thanks Charlie and I hope to see you again!" Jacob said as he pushed Billy to the car.

"Bye Jake...and Billy" I waved to them. Charlie was eyeing me. Not in a bad way, but as if...he were proud _and_ suspious way at the same time. It was a little creepy.

"Bye Bella!"

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_Okay so this was another slow chapter (to me.) but I had to make Jake forgive her! That's just going to make it more dramatic! Thanks for the reviews and I'll have the next chap. up...idk when but soon!_

_And I really hope there aren't mistakes! I feel like this chapter is put together terribly and it repeats a lot. I just want to skip over this part though cause it's not that interesting! So I wrote a little fast. I tried to edit and review it a couple times so there won't be mistakes and mis-spelling. And I wanted it up ASAP cause some of u reviewers are impaitent, I don't blame u cause I know how it is when you read a REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY good story and u want to read it! lol_


	7. Dreams

_For all those who asking questions about the story...Just Wait and see! :) Anyways back to the story!_

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"Bella?" Charlie asked "Why are you just standing out here?" I forgot I was standing outside and it was very cold. I hadn't moved since Jake left. I'd been thinking about Edward and Jacob. It was like me getting a flower and ripping each petal off saying "he loves me" or "he loves me not." Instead I was saying "Edward" or "Jacob." I still couldn't decide, but I'll have to wait for Edward and see what he says. Right now Jacob's winning.

"Oh." I had to say something that made sense as to why I was standing out here. "Well--I just needed to think about everything so I don't make the wrong choices." I went with the truth.

"What choices?" He didn't know about Edward coming...Oops.

"Oh it's nothing," I changed the subject "I guess I should go to bed." I walked past Charlie towards the stairs, "'Night, Dad."

"'Night." He was suspious. I sighed.

When I got upstairs, I got in the shower and cleaned myself up. I headed towards my room, the light was still on. Oh I forgot to turn it off when I wanted to ask Jake what was wrong with him. I flipped the switch off, got in the blanket and waited for sleep to take me.

I had the weirdest dream. I'd never had a dream like this one. Edward and Jacob were enemies. They looked as if they were about to get into a deathmatch, Edward and Jacob were across from eachother, face-to-face. Pure Fury in both their eyes. I tried to stand in between them to keep them from fighting, but something was holding me back. I tried despratrely to get away. I kept thrashing and yanking my arms away from whatever grasp was holding me, but I couldn't pull hard enough. I turned around and saw Alice behind me looking at Edward and Jacob. She had my upper arms in her small hands preventing me from moving. She didn't even notice I was trying to pull away from her. Great, now I _really _know I'm weak. I didn't know how I got here, but it felt like I just appeared here.

"Alice" I said in relief. "Please let go, I have to stop them!"

She looked down at me, like she forgot she was holding onto me. She blinked, "Sorry, Bella it's too dangerous."

"Then stop them yourself!" I yelled angry.

"I can't do it myself, I have to wait for the rest of the family...but--the dogs are also coming--so I can't see"

We were in the dark sage green trees of the forest and the leaves were covering the floor. We seemed too far away from them and I guess that's why no one was here.

I broke down in sobbs and fell to my knees. Alice was just holding my upper arms, so I put my face in my hands and sobbed. "Edward...Jacob...Don't" I whispered. I hated this. How could they do this to me? They supposively loved me...and cared for me. Didn't they?

Obviously, because they were fighting over me. If even _one_ of them was gone, I would never be the same, maybe over time, but I would always remember. My life could be different in just a small decision.

"You should get her away from here Alice!" Edward yelled never taking his eyes off Jacob. Jacob snarled in agreement. I couldn't believe this.

"Why would I get away from here? This is about me! _Me _Edward...and Jacob! Me! So don't think I'm leaving because you too are--" Alice interrupted me.

"Edward! You see what you're doing to her!" Alice yelled at him. I looked up and Edward was looking at me. "And Jacob do you really want to hurt her?" Jacob looked at me too, "Either way if one of you dies she's going to be hurting and she'll never be the same Bella you knew and loved!" Alice wanted to get through to them, but they didn't budge much. I hoped they didn't fight.

Jacob growled, he was in wolf form so I couldn't understand what he said. I looked up at Alice and her face was still worried. Her expression hasn't changed at all so I didn't think Edward or Jacob's decision of ripping eachother's heads off didn't change either. I sighed.

"Please don't do this...I love you both." I cried. Jacob started to walk towards me and so did Edward. My eyes were probably red and all teared up. My eyes flickered between the both of them. And then it happened.

They sprang at eachother with loud menacing growls and in that same instant, I felt no hands around my arms and I fell head first into the ground.

I woke up with a scream and a gasp, somehow I managed to scream_ and gasp_ at the same time. I got up as if I were like a vampire in the movies, when they're in a coffin and they sit right up. How weird, I felt like a _vampire_, ironic. My breathing was rough and my heart beat was wild. I even had water in my eyes. I looked around as I wiped the tears away. It was 5 am, I'm guessing Alice's vision was wrong.

Why hadn't Edward come yet? Did he change his mind? I couldn't believe he didn't come, I was all worked up for nothing. I looked around in case I was worng, but I saw no sign of anyone. I laid back down and closed my eyes.

I couldn't sleep though. My dream had my mind racing with unanswered questions. I got up and went downstairs hopefully not waking up Charlie. Suprisingly he wasn't snoring tonight. I went straight to the kitchen and got a glass of water and took a sip. I turned around, I held my hand over my mouth to keep from spitting out my water.

There he was looking like an angel with that smile on his lips, but in my eyes, clouded with millions of emotions, he looked like a demon sent from the deep pits of hell to hunt me down. Although my hand was in front of my mouth I still spit the water out--on purpose--at him.

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_Wow I made Bella Evil hahahhahahahah! But oh well thats what I would do since I'm helpless and can't do much more to hurt him. Either way Bella probably missed Edward and didn't even hit him. Maybe not (MY STORY) lol but review and i hope u enjoyed. SO SORRY 4 BEING SO SLOW. I HAD **A LOT** TO DO ON FRI. AND OVER THE WEEKEND._


	8. Lost

_Sorry for such a late update, I didn't know how to word everything Edward would say... I been busy, I was on myspace too much, I feel like an addict, but thats over right now :) _

_School's out for me so I can review faster! Thanks for waiting and ENJOY_

**Bella's POV**

I watched with complete innocence, I hoped. I don't know what I expected, I should've known he would do something since I tried to spit water at him, but He moved out of the way just before the water hit him. Dammit!

He was caught by surprise so he didn't move as quickly as he usually would. "Bella?" He walked towards me, but stopped as soon as I took a step backwards. "I'm sorry."

I didn't speak, not because I didn't want to, no, part of my mind wanted to cuss that asshole back to where ever the fuck he came from, but it was just because I couldn't yell at him. That deep dark pit in the--metaphorical--abyss in my mind that loved Edward was spreading. Sis I still love this demon? It clouded my mind and I stared at him blankly.

"Are you okay?" he questioned me like I was an idiot. "I know I deserved that, but I don't want you to hate me, I can see the hate and fury in your eyes" I looked so innocent with his black eyes. How could someone look so genuie and innocent with black eyes and purple circles under his eyes. Probably because I knew what he was going through just to come and see me. He was facing his thrist, the burning in his throat....

"Deserved what?" I didn't know what else to say. He walked closer, I sighed.

"You tried to spit on me. I moved out the way." In his velvet voice, I couldn't believe I missed the sadness in his tone.

"Edward, I didn't expect you this morning, you scared me." I lied, he probably knew I was too, "I don't hate you, but I was upset that you left without as much as a good explanation. Barely a warning" I whimpered and I looked away. "I guess I knew you would disapear one day, and I knew you were too good to be true." I was mostly talking to myself.

He didn't respond. Did he expect me to welcome him with open arms?

I looked back at him and Edward was staring out the window thinking intently about something and after a few seconds his eyes snapped back at me.

"I 'm sorry for all I did to you and I didn't want to leave you, but I had to because I loved you and I couldn't live with myself if I ever got you killed or hurt you, I'm sorry for all I did and I just want you to know that I'm sorry for leaving you and I hope you will forgive me because I only left to save you." he sighed.

He left to save me? I should've expected a better reason, I guess I didn't know Edward all that well. "To save me?" I squeaked.

"Yes, I couldn't believe you'd actually think I didn't love you anymore, after all the times I've said I loved you..." He joked, but then got serious again. "but I could see it in your eyes that you actually thought that me saying I didn't want you anymore would make you ever think that."

I didn't answer for a while, I wanted to shout at him 'why would you ever say that! You could've just told me you were protecting me!' but I knew he had a reason for not telling me so I kept my mouth shut. I pondered for a bit and then looked into his sincere black eyes. How could black eyes be sincere. Of course it was Edward's eyes. "Didn't I say that I thought you were too good to be true?" He wouldn't say anything more.

"Bella, you never learn..." He looked away with sadness and somewhat hopeful eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've told you before. I'm no good for you."

"Yes I know." I walked towards the sink to put my glass away. "Did you come--" How do I word this...? I hesistated. "Why did you decide to come here?" I faced the sink afraid of his expression. My heart was racing and I thought he would be a little angry because I asked him that.

"Because I still--"

I gasped, I didn't expect Edward's voice to be so close. I turned around in a flash to be right in front of Edward, I was a little dizzy due to the fact that I spun so quickly and lost my balance and fell straight into his chest and I bumped my head on his hard skin.

Before I could even think, Edward held me up right and held me in his arms and I cried. I didn't know why, but I had been through too much with Edward I couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't hear, couldn't think, couldn't speak. I just cried through the long morning.

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_so idk what im going to do, i ended this chapter short because I think imma be in trouble (grounded) so I just wanted to post this for now so I give you something more to read. THANK U THANK U...I'll try to update faster. if im not grounded!_


	9. Thoughts

_UGH writing these stories is sometimes frustrating, but I got it up!  
Thanks to all who read and reviewed! I think this chapter might be too short..._

_**FLASHBACK: [BPOV] **__I gasped, I didn't expect Edward's voice to be so close. I turned around in a flash to be right in front of Edward, I was a little dizzy due to the fact that I spun so quickly and lost my balance and fell straight into his chest and I bumped my head on his hard skin._

_Before I could even think, Edward held me up right and held me in his arms and I cried. I didn't know why, but I had been through too much with Edward I couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't hear, couldn't think, couldn't speak. I just cried through the long morning._

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**Bella's Point Of View**

I can't believe it, I just sobbed and cried and pretty much broke down in hysterics and that's not the worst of it.

In front of Edward.

Edward was shocked when I came colliding into his chest...I wondered breifly if my scent is what shocked him. His eyes were black still. I didn't worry too much about that, who really cared?

Anyways... Now What Bella? He came back and already you're bawling your heart out. What's wrong with you? I didn't know what to do, explain myself?, apologize and hope he doesn't remember? Although I'd like to hope he doesn't remember, that doesn't seem like the best plan because he has an inhumanly, wonderful memory. I just couldn't stop I was on the edge of fainting. All that sleep I've missed out on, was finally catching up with me. I barely slept 4 hours tonight, I was restless because of my God-awful dream. I didn't even sleep well these last few nights because I worried about Edward coming.

As I thought of all this my crying got even louder.

_Calm Down everything will be fine_, I told myself even though it wasn't true, Then I remembered, _You'll wake up Charlie_

Charlie! I forgot all about him ever since Edward got here. I turned my head around to see what time it was. almost 6, he has work today and I have school today. _Dammit_ I'm going to be sleep in one of my classes, Maybe I'll skip. Then Charlie will get suspicious and I'll have less time to think about what I'm going to do with Edward.

"It's okay Bella." He just soothed me and rubbed my back. I couldn't believe I was allowing him to do this after what he has done to me. I sighed.

It was strange that I still found him comforting afther all these months. It felt so familiar yet awkward. I felt so exhausted still. I didn't even fall asleep much when Alice was here because I was worried it was all a dream or she would get up and leave one day.

I yawned, and my cries died down a little. Just a little sob ever few seconds.

Edward pulled me back a little to look at me. He glanced at my face. Alarm in his voice as it was as plain as it was on his face. "Bella, what's wrong? I didn't... hurt you--did I?" Yes you hurt me! You left me...I've been crying almost every night thinking about it! Of course I could've yelled at him about this, but... that wasn't what he was asking. And if I yelled Charlie would be down here--with a gun.

I sighed and it came out as more of a yawn. I still hadn't answered him, he began to look a little impaitent, that was unusual for Edward. He never use to get impaitent with me. "Uh--" I didn't know what exactly his question was, I forgot. "Can you--repeat you're--question? The sobbs were interuptting what I was saying... Why was I still sobing?

"What's wrong?"

"Oh... I--" I really didn't want to answer that question. He didn't deserve to know the answer. "I'm--just tired, I--need to go to bed--" I strated babbling "...and Charlie's about to--wake up for work--and I have school"

"You should be getting your rest." Edward smiled. "I've missed your sleep talking." Then he started back tracking, and sorrow was in the depths of his eyes. "Unless you don't want me here..."

He pulled me away at arms length and I wobbled a bit til he steadied me.

"I--I" I yawned, for the third time, ugh! Way to go Bella, ruining the moment "You can stay, we need to talk anyway..." I trailed off drowsily.

Edward picked me up in his arms and that's when I couldn't remember anything.

_My dream was almost as bad as the first._

Jacob was holding me in his arms as I sat in his lap, I was so comfortable in his warm strong grasp, I was..._home. _I wanted to love him, but I felt as if something was holding me back, but I couldn't remember what. I just sat snuggled in his arms.

Then as I thought of this, a male with bronze colored hair and black eyes and a strong looking figure, but not like Jacob, came out of no where, like he appeared out of thin air...I remembered what was holding me back, _Edward,_ my first love. He stared at Jacob's hands holding my waist. Obviously Jacob did something to provoke him, Edward growled and then Jacob pushed me off of him and smiled at Edward.

I staggered for my balance, being tossed aside--. "Bells...So is it me, or the bloodsucker? You choose." Jacob almost growled at me.

I glanced at both their serious expressions staring right at me.

And then my dream abruptly faded. The last thing I saw was my face staring at them both, with a shocked expression...my eyes darting everywhere. I sat right up with a gasp. Waking up from that crazy dream.

Everything with me was a choice.... Sometimes I wish my life were as simple as it probaly would be if I'd never moved to Forks.

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_Well the next chapter will be up soon...before August 6th :) I'm going to HIGH SKOOL OMG! I'm starting school soon...ugh BORING school lols I HOPE I DIDNT MAKE MISTAKES!_


	10. Complications

_unfortunately high school keeps you very busy... these last few day I've been going to volley ball tryouts...__I just havent had the time to add more, I'll try to have the next chapter up ASAP, no promises. I' sorry for not having this up by Aug. 6!  
**FYI: **About the Story, okay...I didn't put too much detail, Edward's POV isn't the best I could've done, I might update it so that it will be better, but for now I wanted just to have it up._

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Edward's Point of View

I've thought many times over the last few months about Bella, thoughts I'd always dismiss and try never to think of it again. My thoughts I've often ignored and failed most times, were sometimes so unbearable that I usually ran as fast as I could thinking that I could just leave behind those fantasies behind, but always found myself heading back to Forks. I forced myself never to come back, thinking of Bella being a cold, soulless creature amongst the world. Or even her dead in my arms because of me, shame and guilt helped me turn back around, away from Forks so I could cause her no harm.

Thoughts of her often occured. Visions of her laying in my arms at our meadow, her with my--_our_ family, sitting on my lap, her walking down the aisle to marry me,--it was the most painful of all--. I don't know why I was thinking of them now. Maybe I'm just so sure she'll take me back. I could be wrong, Bella always surprises me.

Bella was not what I pictured I'd see her as, she was as pale as me, dark purple shadows under-neathe her eyes, she looked just like a vampire. Her eyes even looked darker, but she was as beautiful as ever, I could still hear her heart beating and smell her lovely scent--that still took me by surprise, especially when she collided into my chest. I fought it just to comfort Bella.

She lay there in my arms--she fell asleep rather quick and I hadn't moved, I just stood there holding her as long as I could. Memories flowed as I looked down at her. Memories I've tried so hard never to be brought up again. Bella there on that first day of school, scent so strong that I hated her for it, meeting her the next week and talking to her. She found out so much. I saved her life and she saw everything that I had done. Her yelling at me and I just played it off like she was crazy. Us together in her room laying side by side, being with her at the baseball game, but I didn't want to think about James, Victoria, or Laurent. I stiffed thinking about it anyway. James stalking Bella and I barely had enough time to save her. Her almost changing because of the venom. And then being attached to all the machines and talking to her mother. Being with her at prom, and lastly celebrating her birthday. Which was one of the worst days for to me. I hated leaving Bella, but it seemed the only thing to do.

I walked Bella up the stairs careful not to shake her, and she whispered something inaudible even with my vampire hearing. Her infamous sleep talking, I remembered her always giving everything away in her sleep. She looked so troubled, like she was thinking hard about something. Then she groaned. I layed her down onto her bed and watched over her.

I looked at her more closely just to check if she was awake. She just huffed and rolled onto her side. She looked uneasy as if she were having a bad dream. I didn't want her to have bad dreams, but if I hummed her to sleep, I would need air.

I looked through her window for awhile, I never took a breathe since I picked her up, worried that I might try to--. I didn't want to think about it. I just couldn't think about her that way, but I really wanted to at least inhale her flowery scent one last time in case this is the last time. What if I get too distracted by her scent and lose focus, and try to--bite her. No I won't, but I hadn't feed in the past 4 weeks, my eyes must be pitch black, black as midnight. Whenever I was with Bella, I never stayed with her without feeding for more than 2 weeks. When I showed up, Bella didn't show any signs of panic or fear, she was only angry, morose or just surprised to see me. I decided I could handle it after a few seconds of debating.

I took a quick breath of the air around which sent most of the dust motes around me into a irregular swirl. The scent around me gave my throat a sensation of a floral scent that was so attractive it made my mouth fill with venom. I took another breath hoping I would get use to it, and it was just as bad as the first, I tried to swallow the venom down, but more replaced it. My lips pulled back over my teeth, I was single-minded now and her scent ruled completely. All I could see and hear was the blood pumping through her veins and the strong heart beat pulsing evenly. The thirst got _worse _and made me think of the pain of being changed, the burning, the--_buzz buzz_.

I snapped out of my thoughts, only a few seconds had passed since I decided to take a breath. I looked around, I was crouched ready to spring at--I couldn't believe it--_Bella_. I backed into the wall I was standing by and kept feeling a buzzing on my hip. I growled as I glared at my hip and grabbed the object that was annoying me. Not aware that it was my phone. And I should've known it was Alice calling. I really didn't want to talk right now, but I just had to hear what Alice had to say. I flipped open my phone and jumped out Bella's room window. I couldn't talk in her room because I had to breath to talk.

"Edward, Edward" I didn't even say a word. "I--I, you...why? D--did you?" she sounded afraid and sorrow.

"What Alice? I didn't." My voice was shaky, Ashamed of what I almost did. I had to feed. "W-what did you see?"

"I S--saw...you" She sounded as if she were almost sobbing. "you drinking B--Bella's--" More sobs, and voices in the background, Great, I everyone knew about it. Before I could answer, I heard Bella.

"My Jacob." I stoped dead in my tracks and wondered if I'd heard right. I remember that Jacob, the one that danced with her at prom, the one who answered the phone at Bella's house. She moaned softly, like the sound of being comforted. He stole my Bel--she's not mine anymore, I sighed. Then she mumbled, "Edward?"

"I'll call you back Alice."

"B-but. EDWAR--!" I cut her off.

I ran to her window careful not to make noise. Bella still looked afraid or worried or something in her expression was off which made me uneasy. I watched her as she tossed and turned, then she sat straight up with a jolt that surprised me.

**Bella's Point of View**

A grey light was shining throught the open window and there stood Edward.

I was shocked when I woke up and stared right into Edward's black eyes. He was still had his black long sleeved sweater with blue jeans on from yesterday. So he didn't leave. That pleased me for some reason. I Still couldn't believe he actually came back. Alice had said he was supposively off by himself somewhere, but what did that mean? What was he doing all this time? And better yet Why did he leave?

He was still staring at me like he was trying to remember something about me, but it was hard to read his expression on his gorgeous face, his eyes where just so smoothering and deep, he had no flaws on that beautiful face and his lips were so perfect that I wanted them open so I could explore them with my lips and stay interlocked until we--.

I looked away. I couldn't take it, he was just too perfect. How could he even come back to me--someone...not good enough for him. I didn't deserve to be with him, even though I wanted him so badly. I gazed through the window. Edward just couldn't have me back _that_ easily, but the thought of me being back in his arms and just hoping he would never let go again would just make me so--.

Even when I'm not looking at him he just wanders into my mind.... I just can't stop thinking abut him. He's just irresistible like I'm drawn to him in a way that's so unexplainable that you would never understand unless you're in love. Love makes you an idiot.

I looked at him, smiling. _Why was I smiling?_ I should be mad at him! He tilted his head to the side with a peculiar expression and I immediately wiped it off my face and said. "So..." he was still staring at me and I lost my train of thought, he was just still--irresistible. I Wanted to get up and wrap my arms around him--wipe that blank stare off his face--and kiss him.

He straighted up and said a little to proudly, "Yes?" That made me angry.

"Why did you come back and cut the crap." He was caught off guard by my hostility. I toke a deep breathe. "I mean, don't lie to me." I studied the window again.

He didn't answer quickly, but he sighed. "I've always loved you."

I stared at him incredulously. Why would he leave then? He was just confusng me now, I couldn't believe him at all. He just couldn't, it wasn't--right. Ugh! I was so confused. I looked over at my clock. Almost time for school. I got up not daring to meet Edward's eyes. Ever since he got here I hadn't even held myself together, I didn't even scream when I woke up this morning. I didn't walk around in a depression right now I walked as if I was confused or dizzy which I was.

I walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" A Velvety voice asked.

I jumped. The voice was unexpectedly close. Without turning around, I answered. "School." and I walked out the room down the hall to the restroom.


	11. Happiness?

_This chapter is short! lols I looked at it and was like "I took forever just to write THIS?!" but there will be drama later, things you would not expect._

**Bella's POV**

School was dreadful, all I could think about was Edward, I was way too jumpy and I really didn't want to talk to anyone throughout day. I was in a bad mood. Edward this, Edward that. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I was losing my mind. I sighed and got out of my truck to walk towards school. I was a little worried _he_ would show up, so I silently prayed he would just stay away.

All my classes seemed to go on for _days_ and _days _even though I was only in each one for _under _and hour. Edward always slipped into my mind. I couldn't pay one bit of attention to my class work or anything, I was in my own world at the time. This morning he tried to get me to talk to him, but I wouldn't say a word. I just got ready as if he weren't even there. But, before I left the house I said, "We'll talk later." And I just closed the door behind me.

I think I was a little harsh, but I didn't know what to say. He still loved me and I didn't want to ask any questions, I didn't even want to ask why he didn't come back sooner even though it was running through my mind that whole morning. I just wanted to be alone and think this through. Edward was just frustrating me.

Lunch was not any better, I feel like eating my food. Angela Weber tried to talk to me, but I never really even met her stare. I didn't want to talk, didn't want to listen. My eyes just darted around the lunch room anxiously, looking for a place to run and hide. I wanted to leave the lunch room, run away as fast as I could and get to my truck.

So I got up and walked out the cafeteria knowing that eyes bored onto my face, curious as to where _Isabella Swan _was going. I went out of the cafeteria and walked towards the gray sky up above. I squinted and saw that I wasn't alone out here. People were sitting around, eating their lunch and talking. Many boys and some girls I see around the school were out there although I didn't even know their names. I headed toward the parking lot.

"Bella." A familar voice called me. One I didn't want to hear at the time. One who is always around whenever there was a problem. I wasn't in the mood for social conversations.

I glowered to the ground for a moment, turned around and put a fake smile on my face. "Hi Mike."

He stopped walking as soon as I turned around. All of a sudden I became self conscious of myself, the look on his face made me worry that I accidentally spilled something on my shirt or I forgot to put any clothes on this morning, so I looked down at myself. I was dressed fine, I was wearing a green long-sleeved shirt, some Capri's that wrapped around my calves nice and snug, and I had a small white and green jacket.

He just kept staring at me, "I don't have time for this Mike." I turned back around.

"Wait Bella!" He grabbed my arm and I tried to jerk away, but boys are just too strong. He let go after I stopped pulling.

"What Mike?" I snapped as I rubbed my arm to face him.

"I'm sorry Bella, but you just look beautiful today." Mike said seductively. What was wrong with him? I always look the same everyday... Maybe not today. I noticed in the mirror of my bathroom I had a little more coloring in my cheeks and I wasn't so pale. My hair was actually not messy today, but I still had the dark purple shadows under my eyes.

I looked at him increduously. I always knew that he still had feelings for me, but I never thought he would try again after all this time. "Mike I have to go."

"Bella please."

"No. Just let me go, I don't feel well, I'll talk to you later. I just want to go--"

"But you look fine. Better than before. You look happy." He reassured me.

"Thank you, but I'm not sure that's a compliment. I really need to go, bye Mike!" I speed walked to my truck never turning back. I gasped for air. I felt so terrible for doing that to Mike. I slammed the door with my arm that still ached where he grabbed me.

I turned the key in the ignition, grateful the old truck didn't fail me and drove out of the parking lot. I felt so exhausted, so confused and I just wanted to break down and cry, but I didn't want to show my emotions in case Edward was following, didn't want anything to bother me, I just wanted to escape reality for a little while. So I just kept driving.

I kept my eyes open in case Edward was around me, but I was surrounded by trees on either side, they were like walls closing in on me I couldn't see through them at all. I got onto the highway and drove toward Seattle. I didn't know what I was doing, I think I was just blowing off steam at the moment, but I decided to pull over.

I knew Edward wouldn't like if I went to Seattle knowing my luck, that only made me want to go to Seattle more. I was just so upset. I just stared out my front window and looked at the big buildings that were in front of me. For a second I thought about Jacob and how we were together. He made me feel like I wasn't alone. He made me _feel _whole, but I wasn't. But with Edward--he just healed me all together. I just became my normal self when he showed up. I haven't been like this since he left. Now I felt like I'm back together. He just reminded me of my old life and that gave me hope that he was back and that his family would come back so that I could be a part of it. I hoped that's what would happen. Happiness could be that easily recovered.

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_....We'll see if she's happy._

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	12. Author's Note : Reviews ?

**Okay this is for anyone still reading or wanting to read this . . . **

**i dunno about this story anymore , but if anyone wants me to finish it , i'll try . **

**i like it , but its not the best i think it could've been . & i know it's been awhile since i've even touched this story . **

**reviews ? **


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